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Public Notes
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Public The Multiuse Child: From Floor Cleaner to Bubblewrap Substitute
Latest from Make it a Double - "It's been nearly three weeks since Jack and Adam's fifth and first birthdays respectively and it still looks like FAO Schwartz wiped its ass with the boy's playroom; and not the fun section of FAO Schwartz where Tom Hanks slide steps versions of Heart and Soul and Chopsticks with Robert Loggia on ...
continue reading...Oct 29th Reply! Forward
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Public See Jack. See Jack Eat. Eat Jack Eat.
Quick Post over at Make it a Double "...Except that Jack doesn't eat.
He avoids food the way Tom Sizemore avoids his parole officer, but who really wants to hear yet another parent kvetch the "o woe is me" routine while waxing dietetic about the caloric trials, travails and tribulations of duping, cajoling, bribing, force feeding, and stuffing daily rations into ...
continue reading...Oct 26th Reply! Forward
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Public Milton Berle Must Have Loved Apple Picking
"...Anyway, Jack will normally answer the phone which gives me a chance to ask him about his day. The other day when I called Jack answered the phone:
Hello. Who is this please?
Hello Jack it’s Daddy.
Hi Daddy.
How was school today Jack?
It was good Daddy. We went on a Feel Trip and we went apple picking.
A Feel Trip ...
continue reading...5.0 starsOct 24th 2 Replies Forward
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Public The First Rule of Fight Club? Have Your Children Put Lincoln Logs in Your Shoes.
"...My job requires me to travel frequently enough for me to know that housekeeping doesn’t appreciate it when you 1) hang your suits from the sprinkler heads 2) drape wet towels over the curtain rods and 3) leave the tub filled with ice and unconscious victims of a complex black market kidney removal scheme ...
continue reading...5.0 starsOct 24th 4 Replies Forward
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Public I Pledge Allegiance to Lap Dances and Dollar Store Energy Drinks
My latest post over at Make it a Double. I've been reading way more than I've been posting. Have got to do something about that.
"...20 minutes later we arrived in the parking lot of our Shangri-La. A place of idyllic beauty, Americana bliss, consumeristic indulgency and cut-rate merchandise; a Xanadu called The Dollar Store. Where better ...
continue reading...Oct 16th Reply! Forward
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Public My new Post on Make it a Double - "Damnit Jim. I'm a Father, not a Mother"
"When it comes to the daily practical hands-on mission critical role of caring for our one year old son Adam I'm about as non-essential as an anonymous red shirt ensign serving as the fifth member of a landing party with Kirk, Spock, Sulu and McCoy; my sole purpose to die violently within ...
continue reading...5.0 starsOct 12th 2 Replies Forward
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Public Any late night Powncers ever tried to quit something they were addicted to? Soda, caffeine, alcohol, smoking, eating ....whatever? Any advice? Tips? Words of Wisdom? Does anything really work or is it up to the individual?
Oct 11, 2007 12 Replies Forward
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Public That Is The Most Erect Cheetah I Have Ever Seen
New post on Make it a Double:
"On the paper he brought home there was a little red construction paper school house glued at an angle in the center and what I determined to be a tiger approaching the schoolhouse. The only reason I thought this was because he had written the word Tiger across the top of the sheet ...
continue reading...5.0 starsOct 5, 2007 4 Replies Forward
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Public The Two Greatest Words in the World - on Make it a Double
"From this moment forward any time I saw another father wearing a "Greatest Dad in the World" shirt I would be justified in ripping it off his back. From this moment forward any time I saw another father drinking from a "Number #1 Dad" coffee mug I would be warranted in smacking it out of his hand. From ...
continue reading...Oct 2, 2007 Reply! Forward
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Public Sent this out late on Friday and my blog was down. It's finally back up. Here's the latest from Make it a Double called "Can I Have A Grande Skim Triple Shot Caramel Macchiato With Extra Sleep Through The Night?" Hope everyone had a good weekend...
"It may be that Google Maps plots the directions to the Sturgis Bike Rally from any starting point in the country to ...
continue reading...Oct 1, 2007 Reply! Forward
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Public New Post on Make it a Double. (Strangely related to Ann Bernard's earlier post about things in the past that we miss. In my case it's the playground equipment we grew up with vs. the new molded plastic fortresses my son plays on now.)
Tipping The Sliding Scale
What’s that Lassie? Daddy’s stuck in a 24” diameter 20-foot spiral durable thermoplastic tube slide? Sadly, it’s ...
continue reading...5.0 starsAug 29, 2007 9 Replies Forward
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Public wgathen says: New post on Make it a Double. (I've written better, but they can't all be winners, right?)
Did you know that whereas every single child in history has suffered from BRS, most parents can't identify a single symptom? Which is why I developed a catchy acronym that may help parents get their kids to S.H.U.T.U.P. Recognizing when your child has ...
continue reading...Aug 21, 2007 Reply! Forward
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Public I meant to send this as a public note so sorry to friends who already received this yesterday. My latest blog post:
It's a classic American scene straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Christmas morning, a child in pajamas crouched in front of the tree bursting with anticipation. His weary bath-robed parents smile in the background as he tears opens a gift wrapped box then beams with pure ...
continue reading...Jul 20, 2007 Reply! Forward